i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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