I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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