Soap is not a condiment
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
