He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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