he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
