we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
