After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
false alarm. still invincible.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Randomize
