I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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