My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize