it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize