So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
