turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
