I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You need a sexual gate keeper
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize