we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she smelled like a LAN party
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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