Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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