She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
