He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
