You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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