Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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