Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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