Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
