I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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