He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize