susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
