I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
