So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
