I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I need moral support for this bender
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
