Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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