We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
