I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize