He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
tell me about the eggs
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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