can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
