I'm gonna have a badass scar
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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