Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
