Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
