Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Princesses don't give blow jobs
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
