Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
