Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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