i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
