seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize