I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
