this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
