My underwear smells like fireworks.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
