apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
God, I missed his penis.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
