Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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