You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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