oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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