I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
