those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
