just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
