once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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