He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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