Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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