Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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