Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
