who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
