He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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