I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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