Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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