I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
