You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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