left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
