What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
