We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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