Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
