i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize