Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
